It’s 4AM and I can’t sleep. Woke up about an hour ago and tossed and turned long enough to make sure Allie couldn’t sleep either so I decided it was time to come downstairs and hang with Harvey.
I could watch TV but I’m honestly not feeling it right now as I’d rather just think out loud with my fingers – that’s what a blog is for, right? So my gorgeous wife and myself have been doing The Whole 30 for the last 9 days and we ended up caving last night to our desire to go out to eat “some real food” – and of course, I feel miserable. Again and again, I’m learning that dairy is not my friend. I sat down to a quesadilla loaded with cheese and sour cream and then a plateful of chips and dill-dip and as you can imagine I’m feeling bloated and my stomach is throwing fits.
I think the reason we ended up caving was the diet was a little too restrictive for individuals like ourselves, who have never really dieted before, that really just wanted to focus on eating/living healthier than we were and losing a few pounds. There was no denying that it was working but eventually it starts feeling like you’re in a food prison when you tell yourself that you “can’t have this” and “can’t have that.” So for now, we’ve decided to adopt some of the main concepts from the diet like no added sugars and to show ourselves a little grace when it comes to an occasional cheat day and the like. (It’s too bad we didn’t make that decision before we left our Family Reunion where there was baked goods everywhere! ;P)
Of course, the natural affect of quitting a diet comes into place. “I’m a failure. I didn’t make it. Etc. Etc.” But I’m trying to convince myself of the truth that that’s not the case. We’d just never been on something so restrictive before and perhaps we can try it again sometime, but it was a little extreme and a lot of work food-prep wise.
Speaking of extreme – it’s been 10 days since I last logged on to Facebook and checked my notifications. Of which, it appears I have 41. And let me tell you, it’s killing me to not open them up and check/reply to all of them. But we’re currently holding steady on our social-media fast. I’m finding that without my Twitter, I don’t have a reason to be enraged with President Trump every 24 hours and I don’t spend my days worrying about trying to be the funniest online personality. Although, it’s rough not knowing “what’s going on in the world” with family and friends and society. Reading actual news articles on CNN just isn’t the same as the click-bait articles on Facebook and getting all of my current-events from a 140 character tweet.
Unfortunately, I believe that social-media, in many ways, had become a sort of escape from myself. It was easier to pay attention to everyone else’s life than to focus on my own and seek out further ways to grow as a man, husband, Christian, etc. Killing The White Noise has been helpful in reducing envy and other toxins from my life. It’s feeling good to take aggressive steps in the right direction of owning my own life and finding solutions for everyday problems, like a man.
So that’s the skinny. The Whole 9. Time for me to try and go back to bed.