There’s a lot going on in life right now that has me at the edge of my seat. There’s so many possibilities, so many dreams, and so many obstacles. I’m constantly wondering how it is I’ll overcome these obstacles, chase these dreams, and open the abundant possibilities.
This is just the beginning and there’s much more to come in life. Many surprises just over the horizon. Lots to look forward to. Lots to embrace in the now. And yet, somehow, I find myself constantly revisiting the past or being frustrated with what I’ve earned for the present.
Discouraged by things I cannot control (anymore).
I think this is the way that the Enemy loves for us to be. Running in circles, chasing our own tail. Think about it with me for a moment. You find those one or two annoying things about yourself and then you chase that part of yourself all around the room, until you bite your own ass or pass out from sheer exhaustion.
I can stew about reaching my heaviest weight yet again and having to start over, or I can get back in a rhythm of 5:45am workouts with Allie by my side, and stop ordering drinks and fried food out. Speaking of – is that not true love right there? Talk about camaraderie and friendship with the woman you love. I’m lucky to have someone willing to do that with me in hopes of bettering each other.
When learning my new job in Sales, I can focus on all of my screw-ups – the moments where I said the wrong thing or shut-down and failed to overcome objections, or I can use it at as a learning opportunity, put my best foot forward, get up, and try again. One leads to needing to find a new profession and the other leads to the potential for wealth and a career.
One step at a time. Speaking of steps – most of us began our “growth” journey as a human-being by crawling and then WALKING. Our parents went NUTS when we took our first steps. “Babe! Babe! Get the camera! Justin is walking!” You wouldn’t see my Mom or Dad doing that now. No one is cheering for me as I walk down the rows of cars at Carmax, trying to find Nissan Rogue’s yet again (popular car by the way). But back then, it was everything. It’s where it all began.
Sometimes it’s good to go back to where it all started. Walking. One step at a time. If you were standing on a walking-path and constantly turned around and looking back, you’d never make any progress. You’d just turn your head around in circles like an owl and at the end of the day you’d wonder why your feathers had turned so grey and bleak – why you hadn’t moved anywhere or done anything. That’s the monotonous mindset that can be brought about by pessimism and trying to be the next great American Cynic.
There’s more to life than the past. And we are more than the current sum of our mistakes.
As my love-life increases and as my relationship deepens, I find myself increasingly perplexed at the sheer power that love has. It truly can cover over a multitude of sins. The adaptability, perseverance, and hopeful energy that is present when someone chooses again and again to love you is insane. And even the greatest examples of love are just meant to be a mirrored image of God’s love for us. (I’ll be honest – that’s hard for me to grasp and lots of days I don’t live as if I believe that. But I know it’s true.) They’re not even as good as the real thing. And our loves are pretty damn great.
Lord, help us to love ourselves more because you love us. Help us to love others, because you’ve told us to love even our enemies. Help us to raise ourselves out of the pit of despair so that we can make a difference in the world and bring others into the Light as well, rather than hiding in the shadows of our past and allowing darkness to have its day.
You’ll have your weak moments tomorrow. The times where you want to break down crying or you’ll find your fists bunching up as your heart-rate races. Emotions don’t have to have the final say though and neither does your past. Let’s fight, together, for a brighter future. Let’s learn to walk again.
I’m at the edge of my seat to see what God ends up doing through you.
Right There With You,
P.S. To those dedicated readers, I’m sorry I’ve been off-the-grid the last couple weeks. Lots on mind and lots going on in life. I just haven’t gotten to it. I’ll try to keep up with this the best I can! Please feel free to comment or share – or to hit me up anytime!