Wounded time and time again,
Words you thought were innocent, broke it down, friends,
I don’t blame you, nor anyone, in fact
The enemy was determined, using a great deal of tact
Determined to see me fall, to scrape my knees
Filled up my mind with so many lies I’ve started to believe
“You’re right, deceiver, I’m deceptive, undesirable, and rejected;
I’ve sinned many times and it wasn’t for me, He resurrected.
I’m not worth what He did and I’ll never overcome,
All the ‘truths’ He states about me are things I’ll never become.
If only my ambition, passion, and motivation,
Were as large as my body that’s begun my confidence’s deflation.
I amaze myself with how obsessed I am with what I see
The man standing in the mirror, staring back at me,
Wrinkles on the forehead, cheeks big and wide,
Freckles here and there, and a smile that seems to hide.
Constantly conscious of others’ perception,
Never believing they may have positive reception.
What has begun this depressing reflection;
The root, I believe, is in my heart’s deception.
If only I could be me and be free,
Yet somehow, I feel enslaved to thee,
To you, to her, to him, to them,
Am I living for myself, you, or Him?
I honestly am not certain; so many questions,
My heart seems to be pulled in many directions.
Of one thing, I’m certain, of one thing, I’m sure,
I want to see my God bring redemption; to begin to cure
The brokenhearted and contrite believers,
Who may, like me, struggle against the deceiver.
I will not be silenced, my strength will come back,
Father God will raise me back up and keep me on track.
Pray He comes quickly, swiftly by my side,
That my heart would have no strength left to hide,
With darkness exposed, wounds out in the open,
The Light can bring healing, renew my hope and
Replace the lens through which I see,
Perhaps soon I can see how my Creator sees me.